8 Reasons Why I’m Happy That Valley Village Will Not Be Split Into Two Congressional Districts

For the past ten years, Valley Village has been split into two congressional districts. The boundary was split down Laurel Canyon Boulevard rather

Current Council District map

than the Tujunga Wash, which is the natural boundary for both Neighborhood Council Valley Village and the Valley Village Homeowners Association. But with the new census comes new maps that need to be redrawn, and there have been many loud and persistent voices in the community urging the Los Angeles City Council Redistricting Commission to make Valley Village whole.

Valley Village section to be split

Just three weeks ago the commission presented a 2012 draft that had Valley Village again split into two districts, this time with a boundary down Whitsett Avenue.  Those loud and persistent voices grew even louder and more persistent.

The cacophony paid off. In the final draft presented last week, the commission moved the boundary west to the wash, so for the next ten years our community will be represented by just one congressman (or woman, should she choose to throw her bonnet into the ring).

So with tremendous celebratory fanfare akin to when the south rejoined the north and the United States of America was again made whole, I offer:

8 Reasons Why I’m Happy That Valley Village Will Not Be Split Into Two Congressional Districts:

1. Because there will be only one congressional field office representative reporting at the Neighborhood Council meeting, it should now wrap up before 9:00 pm in time for board members to see Modern Family.

2. There will only be one politician to blame (or butt kiss, depending on the need) which saves postage when mailing either cookies or anthrax (again, depending on the need).

3. Val Surf will be in the same district as the Tujunga Wash to make it easier for surfing to the Pacific Ocean.

4. The new boundary includes Rite Aid and Edwin’s Pharmacy for those who want a legitimate drug alternative to the half dozen pot shops.

5. Since the Valley Village area west of Whitsett will not be swallowed by the area of Sherman Oaks known as Sherman Village, it avoids the embarrassing nickname Shirley Village.

6. We gain a liquor store and three bars to help balance Valley Village’s numerous AA meetings.

7. St. Patrick’s Day is next week and now we can celebrate the big day within Valley Village by shopping at Shamrock Imports rather than venturing to neighboring communities for a McDonalds green milkshake.

8. Now we won’t have to get into a turf war with Sherman Oaks over ignoring the teeny tiny plot of land south of Riverside between Whitsett and the Tujunga Wash. It’s theirs. And it’s just the right size for another pot shop.

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2 Comments

Filed under Humor, Top 10 List

2 responses to “8 Reasons Why I’m Happy That Valley Village Will Not Be Split Into Two Congressional Districts

  1. Do I sense a note of sarcasm? Naw……couldn’t be. I think sarcasm is a sign of hidden anger..no wait, maybe that’s cynicism…..hmmm…maybe it’s misanthropic…on the other hand maybe anger is a sign of hidden anger..my favorite is #6, no #4..hmm #2? I’m not indecisive am I? maybe they’re all my favorite.

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